Secret Fantasy

Wasting time, wasting lives away until one day you realize, you've wasted your own life away with all the things you didn't say. Killed the millions of people in your head day after day, just because they hurt you more than you ever could hurt yourself. Asking questions, angry because people don't want to talk anymore. Rejected fantasies of a dead world. Where are you from?

I miss you

I don’t want to be that one mistake that you can’t amend.
- Joshua Guevara

Secrets

There are secrets that we keep and those that keep us. Those that remain kept and those that steal everything else we’ve done.

Untitled

I only know that the back door is the best place to enter. And the best way to exit. Because there’s so much less shame in failure that’s secret.

It's just Truth

It’s just truth. So subjective. Words and more words that leak from lives whose valves are broken.

Action = Reaction

Depression is not an affliction. Not in my case. It's a reaction to living. Or trying to.

Thoughts...

Sadness is people not acknowledging that you're there;
Invisable is waking up and being unable to touch life...

Nude sadness

Breaks me down to see the world
strangle each other
over the next nude picture
of some girl who lost her innocence so long ago.

Sad to know i live with people in my life
who take for granted the lies
and feel turned on by the sickness
of nude girls
who pretend to be something
for the thousands out there

[Sad to see the perversion of nudity
take over the life of
the person i love so dear]
perversion of suicide girls
naked to the core

Jealousy makes you an incompetant lover,
it makes you angry
and alone.

Nude girls, spreading their legs
opening up the little boxes
so the world can lap up their secrets
while they moan in ecstacy.

sad world. Sex sells.
and it makes the world worse for wear.

It perverts the world!
Their tight little bodies
turn our men on
so much more than we ever could

Eyes

I like the eyes in our world. The sick perverted eyes that look at every little thing and attempt to undress it. The eyes that touch the souls of all of us and makes us feel so naked. The eyes that see, and the one's that don't. I like the colours of the sick eyes and the mixtures of the rich eyes. I like the lenses we wear to mask who we are and what we feel. And i like the glasses we frame our windows with. Nothings important. Only eyes. Only what you see. Only what i don't.

(picture: eye-drops by rblack on www.worth1000.com)

Fear

Why are we so scared of everything. So scared of living, of blieveing, of letting other people find out that we're alive too? so scared of defying other people, so scared of fighting, so scared of being who we're supposed to be. We're living a stupid life...

Sleeping wakefulness

Remembering a time when sleep was sleep, without it being some thing to hide from. Back when sleep was the real thing, honest and respectful of the short hours one spends in it's grasp. Sleep... a subconscious way to devour the heart of the life we're living. Blamless. Cold. Alone.
Sleep... where you wake up screaming because you're being chased by yourself...chased by a part of yourself that you never remembered. Hollow. Torn. Missing.
Sleep is the enemy... i don't want to wake up anymore

(picture: dead eye by Plensje on www.worth1000.com)

Giving

Give your heart to someone else
When you're alone on the inside
I won't be there for you.

FOUND

Why fear? by *fallenpoeticlover on deviantart.com

What makes us so afraid to die?
So afraid to say goodbye?
So afraid to end something,
That never really started to begin with?
What makes us quake and cryat the sight of death?
What makes us such cowards?
Why are we unable to face the end?
The inevitable?
Why do we try to draw it out?
Why don't we just fall and get it over with?
Why struggle?
Why fight against mother nature?

What makes us so afraid to die?
Is it the darkness after?
The emptiness?
The fear of judgement?
Hell?
Heaven?
The angels?
The demons?
Why cling to life?
Why work to live longer?
Why cause so many tears?
Why shed so many tears?
Why are we all so terrified to let go?

What makes us so afraid to die?
Why not just wave goodbye?
Embrace it?
Bless it?
Treat it like another adventure?
Why not enjoy life while we have it,
And embrace death when it comes?
Why live in fear?
Why worry now and then?
Why choose fear?
Why choose desperation?
Why not just let go when the time has come?

What makes us so afraid to die?
What makes you afraid to die?

Secret Depressions

I sit day and night, writing stories in my head...writing the things no one will ever read. Writing my life away. Sitting at my imaginary desk, constantly thinking of characters and their stories. Thinking. . .

. . . and in the end comes the Secret Depression that i so wantonly crave for no reason.